The Scribbled Mind

Naimuz Saadat Niloy

Too much white. Oh no, the correct terminology would be bright. Yes, way too flashy. Ahhh, it’s like piercing through the back of my eyes. OK, it’s cool now.  Let’s see. I assume that’s the mother and that’s the father. 

“Look at that, he has my nose.” Yes, definitely the father. I don’t even know myself. Ahhh, it’s really boring, this feeling of incognizance. The only thing that I can do now is cry like regular babies. Meh whatever, the protocols that bound us. 

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“Kleit, you are a big boy now, don’t be so rude in front of others. It doesn’t look well on our behalf. Go mingle.” No point arguing with your mother. I just nod and go away to “Mingle.” 

It’s my face, I am not rude. I just think all the time, unlike those funny brains out there with whom I should “mingle.” But what’s the point of arguing? Mothers are like this. They mean well and probably the person to be thanked for bringing me into this world. 

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“The ancient Egyptians started the trend of dividing the year into 12 periods according to the constellations …………………” Man, these lectures. School is crazy. No use of brains only dissemination of useless information. How do people endure this? 

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“Happy birthday, Kleit.” Yeah, it is my birthday today, a social construct created to celebrate the imminence of death. I mean a numerical value that increases yearly which leads to another numerical value, which will end a life. That would be morbid so, let’s get positive and celebrate. The sheer banality of it is disturbing. But social protocols are very important. These things, these constructs bring out various traits and characteristics of men. 

I turned 18 today and this whole time frame, I only thought about men. I mean the only interesting part of this world apart from nature of course. Men are peculiar beings, they show different traits and qualities and those are unique for every man if you know how to look closely. And believe me, I know how to look closely. 

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I am in my late 30s now. My body has started to fail me. But I still wonder the reasons behind a man’s happiness in getting reward or sadness in failing to achieve. Well, that is the basic human impulse of course. But it could be someone else in their place, there are many others striving to get the same thing. Why is it that I have got the things that I have and not the things that I haven’t. Cause and effect should come to play, but what’s the cause behind that cause? Oh man, I am blabbering again. 

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They say that the world is facing a climate shift now. Well, it is evident everywhere, with the heat and submerging islands and natural disasters like never before, we have brought the doom upon ourselves. People are getting to face the harsh reality now, almost everyday capitalistic and government scandals are getting leaked. Money isn’t a factor anymore, the force of nature who’s gonna stop that? 

Those fools with the big industries never thought about the real power which is to gain the care and reverence of people, yet they always hankered after money. What good did it bring them? 

Power has always been a relative aspect to many, but is it really? Some say money is power and others, well at least, I say that is the reverence of people towards you. But to get the respect out of people you also need the publicity and publicity don’t come free. Wait, That’s contradictory. I am going crazy, what is happening to me?

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It’s the year 3001. After the apocalypse of 2070 human civilization striven and like many other enduring species they have survived. Kleit was a simple man living in a village. His diary was recovered in an excavation, rotten but with the technology that the humans have today many pieces could be recovered to the point of being legible. At some point towards the end of his life, it is believed that he got mentally ill. In simple words he became crazy. Well, going through his journal it seems that he was crazy his whole life asking weird questions. But I comprehend something different. He tried to tell us something, something like a quote and it goes like this“Don’t look so hard or you might find out what you are looking for.” 

Life resonates with those words. Evidently, everyone starts with nothing, everything, every aspect of life starts with null. Then people start to grow with their surroundings. Nature, vicinity, culture, family everything that revolves around a person makes the person grow into something that should define him. But does it? 

A person starts to learn, I mean the real lessons, not the ones they teach you at school when he/she starts to ask the definition of life. This is where it all begins. The search for meaning. He/she starts to question his/her attributes, accolades, achievements, failures, negligence everything that makes a person happy or sad. The search for an answer begins. The person studies other people study his/her surroundings to learn more about life. He/she starts to gain knowledge. Unpredictability becomes a trait of that person. The person lets off a wise vibe. It feels good. But the good doesn’t last long. The unpredictability starts to transform. The more knowledge the person gains the more the unpredictability leads him/her into oblivion. Everything he/she was looking for starts to peep out. And he/she doesn’t like that. Oblivion surrounds him. Everything becomes scribbles. 

Gladly and apparently people don’t look so hard, maybe the men who said “Ignorance is bliss” found out the things we all look for. 

Roland reviewed his assignment one last time before going to school. Mr. Hennessy gets really aggravated over the formatting of a doc file. 

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