Family Filter


We have all been there, haven’t we? There have been times when we were led on by our parents or distinct family members into an obvious trap but didn’t quite see it coming. By the time we realize it, we are deep down at the bottom end of the well, trapped, out-numbered and out-maneuvered. Now, unless you have ‘spider senses’, there’s really no way for you to foresee this trap incoming. But, what you can do is read this piece of article that will hopefully help you identify the tracks that lead to the lingering trap and backtrack.

When they invite you for a family discussion

Sounds too good to be true, doesn’t it? There you are, chilling quietly in your room, listening to some heavy metal (NOT Iron Maiden) music and wondering to yourself what turned you into this anti-social outcast. And at that very moment, your parents summon you to be a part of their little ‘family discussion’. Just as you enter the discussion table and prepare yourself for a healthy conversation, all the while being unaware of the fact that you are being scanned from head to toe for weak spots, their true intention becomes clear. What you thought was a chance to reconnect with your parents was actually a trap set up for the onslaught.  They will start by vaguely reminding you what an absolute mess you are and how your fingernails are freakishly long because you spend too much time with your phone that you forget to cut them and that you are a waste of oxygen who only consumes but never contributes, leaving you in tithers as you start feeling guilty for being the sole reason of global warming. 

When they ask you about your love life

“Don’t be shy! We are just like your friends right?? You can tell us everything!!” First thing’s first, telling them about your love life doesn’t fall under the category of ‘everything’. Secondly, when they say ‘everything’ what they really mean by that is ‘everything but not anything that we are going to despise you for’. This is just one of their many ploys to get the word out of you about your romantic involvement. Rest assured, they don’t care about your love life. They just want to make sure that you have one so that they can set out to destroy it. Because you simply aren’t allowed to like somebody like that and if you do then by the order of the Empire of Elderlies, you will have to unlike them. It’s 2019 and too many lives have been ruined daydreaming about that fairy tale end of DDLJ so move on because that fantasy is never going to be your reality. You have two options. Either you deny about the existence of your love life and marry the person of your parents’ choice, or confess about your relationship and still marry the person of your parents’ choice.

When they play the ‘grown-up/not grown-up’ card

One minute you are being told to act like a grown-up and take up some responsibilities. And then the very next minute you are being denied permission to go on a tour with your friends because you aren’t mature enough to be responsible for yourself. They’ll play the ‘grown-up’ card to their convenience to suit their own preferences. And you, caught up in the middle, wondering only one thing to yourself- to be (grown-up), or not to be (grown up).

Curtain falls

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